Chronically Patient: What this blog is about

Whether you're new here, or a regular reader, I welcome you to my minuscule corner of the internet. I thought it would be a good idea to actually introduce myself, and this blog, so you could get an idea for who I am, what this is and what to expect in the future.

Hello

I assume that most of the people reading this already know who I am as it's currently only my Facebook friends seeing any of it, but just in case, hello! My name is Alex, Lexie, Lex, Alexandra, whatever tickles your fancy really. At the time of writing this I am currently 24, from the North of England and am on a journey of understanding myself. As hippie-ish as that sounds, I do mean as much in the physical sense of "what is wrong with my body and brain" as I do in the "who am I, what do I want, what am I going to do with my life" way.

Some of the things I currently love are reading, music, writing and Formula 1. What those things actually entail are rarely reading and instead opting for doom-scrolling on social media, listening to the same songs on repeat because they make my brain happy, writing once every 6-12 months depending on how burnt out I am, and watching every grand prix weekend religiously because it gives my brain enough serotonin to prevent it from shutting down entirely.

Some of the things I always love are my friends, family, boyfriend, cats, the smell of cut grass and the feeling of the sun on my face which my boyfriend has deemed my "photosynthesising time". What those things entail is me spamming my friends with TikToks that I find hilarious and thinking it's incredibly unjust that I can only see them once every few months (if at all), crying at the thought of my nephews growing up as the rest of us grow old and trying to appreciate every moment with them all, somehow never irritating my boyfriend with my insatiable need to be around him 24/7, a deep yearning for my own house (mostly so I can own a cat or 10), and leaving the house approximately once a week because I'm lazy and get overstimulated if I'm in an uncontrolled environment for too long.

I'm sure I'll drop more lore about myself and my life along the way throughout these posts so, if you're interested, you can subscribe to this blog to be notified via email when I post something new. Or better yet, become a member so we can build a little community right here, and I can get to know you too!

Genesis

This blog was born a few years ago from a desperate need to vent as a reaction to the sudden (but somewhat obvious) revelation that I have a chronic illness, namely PCOS. While I'd been diagnosed for 7 years by 2021, it had never been framed to me in that way; chronic, ongoing, persistent, recurring, constant and lifelong. After a day of frantically researching this thing within me, something I'd been in unknowing denial about for so long, I called my friend knowing that she'd been given a diagnosis for a vastly different medical condition, but one just as (arguably more) life-long and life-altering. She immediately invited got me to her uni flat and we spent hours talking, crying and laughing with each other about everything from the embarrassing things our illnesses have made us do, to the nausea that takes over you when you realise for the first time that you will never, no matter how much you want it, have a normal life.

I used to write a lot growing up. I could never keep a diary due to the nightmare of ruining one of pretty notebooks and the horror of someone potentially reading my deepest, darkest, edgiest teenage thoughts. Instead, I would write short stories, Percy Jackson fan fiction, and sorry excuses for novels and scripts. It was my way to blow off steam and live in my own worlds, creating places and people that would never leave me, never make snide remarks or make fun of me and never ever tell my secrets. I stopped writing when I was around 16. Burnout from GCSEs made me have daily panic attacks and vomiting episodes and what was once my favourite hobby became yet another thing that I felt a vicious, eroding dread about doing. Until that day in 2021.

A spark that I thought was long-since doused suddenly re-ignited and the need to write was so fierce that I went back to my digs and typed furiously until the early hours of the morning. I then had the thought that there will very likely be other people out there who have this condition, or a different one entirely, and feel the way I do. So, with the suggestion and encouragement of my friends, I decided to publish it via this blog in the hopes of even one person stumbling across it in the midst of their frantic researching, and feeling slightly less alone.

The name came about from me being painfully uncreative or clever. The "chronically" is pretty obvious and "patient" is a play on both a person receiving medical treatment, and the fact that I am actually an appallingly impatient person. Despite this, I do find myself often just waiting for things to magically happen for me, and I don't want to do that anymore. As such, the name is a reminder to not just wait around and actually do something with myself and my life, and hopefully I can help a couple of people along the way.

Looking Forward

Honestly I have no idea what this blog is going be in the future. I do intend to write about my conditions; the ones I currently know I have and any that may pop up in the future. I also want it to be a place of fun and silliness, hence my Rundowns of the musical festivals I've attended. Whatever it will be and whatever I will write, I really do hope that you will find comfort or entertainment, or even just brief distraction in it.

I look forward to talking to you in my future posts and, in the meantime, look after yourselves, drink lots of water, and find a pretty sunset to take a picture of.

Love,

Alex xx